God is Patient (my journal entry)

My flesh has been crying out, "why don't I seek you Lord like I used to . . . I know you better than years past and I continually try to please you through obedience, but the feeling of love seems so still and lifeless to me at this time and in this place?"

Help me! I regularly plea.

Okay reader, please don't worry. . . My soul knows that God patiently waits but I can't ever save myself from running to attend to other important needs (family, friends, church, etc.)

However, last night was different. I could not refuse his calling and "wooing" me unto love. It came through seeing the silhouette of a woman praying by the water on my iphone.

"That's it," I discerned his call as one of tender love. And I thought, "I'm definately headed out the door to sit by the pool and seek him (just like I do with my human husband in a quiet moment of the day)." So I programmed my alarm to wake me early in the morning and became determined to start the day right.

To be clear: He met me there just as he promised he would. Now that's love of the pure kind!

• Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7

So "what did he say?," you might ask.

Well, it was mostly about his patient character.

This iUnderstand (and I know something more NOW): He waits to reveal truth until the right time when I'm ready to hear.

Apart from prayer I'm like a teenager who needs wisdom but am unable to receive anything wise which he desires to say. It's as if I close my ears. I will not receive The Truth spoken in love because I choose not to listen. I remain in a frantic state, too upset to really listen, and instead focus on myself while succumbing to imagined "trauma" while exaggerating problems from a youthful perspective. What I need is God's perspective in every situation.

• Ah Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you. Jeremiah 32: 17
  

God knows my human frailty and he patiently waits to impart His Wisdom when I'm listening! His strength is sure. Nothing is too difficult for him to handle. And nothing will ever snatch me out of his hand; not even the waiting. That is awesome.

So God really is patient in an active sort of way. The LOVE of God seeks the lost when they stray. The LOVE of God is never late (even when you have a full hour drive to pick-up your hurting child from school). His perfect LOVE is always prepared for every emergency ahead of time. His perfect LOVE is not selfish or demanding that anyone listen at this very instant (as seen in my parenting style). His perfect LOVE is not resentful or angered by any inconvenience and the thought of having to wait another day to be heard (characteristic of my parenting response). God, unlike me, chooses the path of love to patiently wait for others without malice, unkind words, or any small measure of impatience.

Do you see? He always has a good gift to offer his child, but he is also patiently waiting for the right time. . . the time when we are willing to listen to his voice, receive direction, and act on it. This is love.

• Let my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word. Psalm 119: 169